bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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