i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
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