I swear she didn't look like that last week.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
