Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
It was confusing and full of hummus
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
