Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
