I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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