Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
