u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
It was like giving head to a cactus.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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