You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
