She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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