we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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