you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
