My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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