Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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