Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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