Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I am one with the molecules
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
