he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
