We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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