Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize