Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
