She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I accidentally burped into my bong.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
