Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
How does one acquire holy water?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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