it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
