I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
