sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize