so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
