just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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