Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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