I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
