I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
