okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
