She said her name was "party"
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
This toilet bowl is my home.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
