can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
