I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Randomize
