nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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