She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize