The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
