Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
