You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
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