Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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