stop calling my apartment porn island.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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