I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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