a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
