I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
