A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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