so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
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he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
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If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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