I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
