Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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