Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
