We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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