Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
