He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
