yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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