well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
