im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
