My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
