She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I have already put on my inside pants.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
