READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
