So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
The feeling are messing with the penis
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
my poor anus
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
