Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
