I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
His hands were made for my vagina.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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