..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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