I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
i believe in u and ur pee
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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