I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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