Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
