make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Randomize
