I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
