I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize