Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
