Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
